Bia

Fable had adjusted herself so she was sitting on my back in an almost-piggyback fashion. She was still clinging to me, tighter than ever, as if I would drop her at any moment. But maybe that’s what she knew. She said her sisters left her. Maybe everyone else had left her long before they physically moved away.

“Guess what?” she whispered in my ear.
I nearly jumped at her voice being so close to me. “What?”
She switched to talking in my head. “Ivy’s thinking about you right now.”

I tried to slow my heartbeat down and keep all thoughts of the possibilities out of my mind as Fable obviously could catch on quick. But it was nearly impossible.

“Really? Is it good? Or, bad?” I stammered.
Fable laughed. “I’m not telling. That would be rude.”

Out loud, we heard Ivy shout something triumphant.
“Omigod! I get cell phone service! We can order pizza or something!”

I stared at blondie. She had obviously fooled me into thinking she was different than the rest of the popular girls.

“Ivy, that’s impossible. We’re in the middle of a forest with no known address, wandering around in probably circles, nowhere NEAR a road. How on earth could a pizza delivery guy reach us?” Calyx paused, thinking. “But I’m hungry too. I’m sorry if that sounded mean. I didn’t mean it to be, I just- I was-”
“Cell phone! Ivy, does your brother have a cell phone?” I asked, interrupting Calyx.

Ivy stared at the flat phone in her hand for a moment before letting a smile creep across her face.

“He does! He has a cell phone! And a backpack full of chocolate bars, not that I’d eat those, but maybe he has some snacks...” Ivy trailed off. “Oh, I mean, we could text him to see where he is. Screw the food.”

She ducked her head as if she was embarrassed. I wanted to tell her it was okay, that my stomach needed me to fill it as well.

“You ate ice cream, doofus.” Fable’s voice crept into my head again.
“Get out!” I thought rather loudly.
She shot me a look and opened her mouth to speak. “I want Calyx to carry me. Your nails are digging into my legs. You’re hurting me.”

I shot ahead to catch up with Calyx who was now concentrating on marking the trees with a sharp stone she’d found on the ground. Apparently it helped her know we weren’t going in circles and were actually getting somewhere.

“She wants you,” I said quietly.

Fable jumped from my back to Calyx’s in a couple seconds. I expected Calyx to at least jump a little at the extra weight, but she didn’t even blink. It was as if she hadn’t noticed. Huh.

“You can go now,” Fable ordered in her tiny voice.
I glared at her. “You’re really annoying.”
“I know. So are you. Now leave me alone. I want Calyx,” she whined.

I fell back in step with Ivy, who was staring at the screen of her phone. A message was up on the screen, and despite my thoughts telling me to give her privacy, I peeked over Ivy’s shoulder to read it.

“go away. im with a girl,” the text read.

“Huh, I never thought your brother was the type to ditch you for a girl,” I mused. “But then again, I only knew him for a short while.”
Ivy glanced up at me. “Why’d you read my message?”
“Well, I, uh,” I stuttered.
“That’s private and personal, you know. I don’t go through all your little diaries or whatever you do in your spare time. I don’t even know you. God, just… give me some space. I can’t deal with this right now,” Ivy ranted.

My face turned crimson and I stopped walking. Diaries. As if that’s what I spent my time doing. Try avoiding the leers of my mom’s current flame or trying to sneak downstairs without running into a half-naked man in the kitchen, eating my food. When did I ever have time to write any of this down? Did I look like the type of girl to keep a diary?

I glanced down at my arms. Probably, judging from my appearance. Good job, Bia. Dressing in black skinny jeans, a gray tank top, and gray Converse. Trying to blend in with the world around you. You mix your f’ucking charcoal eyeshadow every morning with the teal, hoping you’ll fit in nicely. Right. Like people don’t notice the freak. Like they can’t see your scars and everything you’ve done.

My feet gave out under me and I let myself collapse to the ground. It was comfier than walking, anyway. My feet ached. Tears welled up in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. I was done crying over my past. I was done crying over yet another person who shrugged me off like a stray piece of confetti. The sadness turned to anger and the tears fell anyway, hot and sticky on my sweaty cheeks. I brushed them away angrily. They didn’t belong here.

“Bia’s not good,” Fable cried loudly. I could hear her from back here.
I’m fine, I wanted to say. I’m perfect. This is as close as I’ll get. Instead of opening my mouth, I picked myself up off the ground and continued walking behind a waterfall of blond hair.