Fable

Calyx ignored Bia when she collapsed into tears. We kept walking as if nothing happened. This shocked me. When someone broke down and cried, it was for a reason. Why would Calyx pretend nothing was going on? Why did we walk away?

Bia picked herself up and wiped away the few tears that had fallen like she was fine. Was she fine? I couldn’t tell. Either way, she walked right behind Ivy like she was her puppy. I didn’t want them to get too close. It didn’t seem safe. “Are you okay? Do you want to walk now?” Calyx asked me.

My legs weren’t hurting anymore, so I thought walking would be fine. “Sure. Set me down gently, though. I hate being dropped.” She placed me on the ground so my feet touched the dirt softly. I could feel everything with my toes. “Can I still hold your hand?” I asked.

She smiled. “Always.”

I slipped my hand into hers, happy to have someone next to me. I was so used to being alone. I could remember my early childhood, when I was about three or four. We were sitting around a fire singing old Romani songs. I had my head resting on Momma’s knee, but she kept shoving me away every other minute. Still, I kept going back to her because we were family and she was my protector. She was supposed to take care of me.

Momma never took care of me. She left me to starve unless I brought home money for food. “Fable, you go get dinner for us. You go do magic,” she’d croon. I always obeyed. I never asked questions. “Oh chahvi, you’re so good to me. I need you forever and ever and ever...” she’d whisper late at night while I fell asleep.
... and ever and ever and never.

I was gone. I’d left her by herself with no one to take care of her, no one to get her money or food, no one to keep her company. I left my momma for what? This? Why did I think it was ever worth it? I stubbed my toe on a rock and mumbled a swear word I’d heard our King say one day when the fire burnt him. Calyx giggled. “I want to go back,” I admitted in a small voice. “I don’t want this.”

Calyx gave me a small pat on my head with her free hand. “We all want to go back. But we can’t.”

“But… but- I miss Momma and my family. I miss everyone. I don’t want them to be gone,” I sniffled.

She stopped walking long enough to give me a hug. “It’ll be okay. Everything will be fine. You just stick with me and Bia. We’ll take care of you.” Bia walked up from behind me, leaving Ivy alone in the back. I left that topic alone.

“I won’t let you get hurt,” she said quietly. And I knew what kind of hurt she meant. Ivy’s kind of hurt.

“Good. I don’t like hurting.” I stuck my chin up in the air and sniffled again.

Bia swooped me up in her arms and carried me like a baby. “No worries. We’re doing great, kiddo.” She kissed my nose. For a second I let myself pretend I was in Momma’s arms and we were coming home after another night at the fair. But the scent of incense was replaced with bleach and Momma’s soft shawl was replaced with Bia’s cold arms. This was what I had now. I had to be fine with it.

“Take care of me, okay? And you. Take care of you. I don’t like it when you’re hurt,” I said honestly.
I could see the pain in her gray eyes. She wasn’t doing a good job of hiding. Maybe she didn’t want to hide.

“I’ll go walk with Ivy and see if her brother’s said anything yet,” Calyx mumbled. She slowed down to match Ivy’s pace. Bia pulled me closer to her chest and I laid my head on her cold skin. She’d do. She was fine. Besides, something deep inside me told me she was already family. It was like we knew each other from long, long ago. Only we’d forgotten all that and only had right now.