Jack

“WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?”

“Jack, I’m—-”

“YOU’RE ON MY COUCH! WHY ARE YOU ON MY COUCH?!”

“Jack, just listen—-”

“WHY DON’T YOU HAVE ANY PANTS ON?!”

“JACK!!!”

Brady’s face was flushed bright red. His tall frame was sprawled on my couch, half naked. He looked like he had just committed murder, as guilty as his face was. I only had the door half open, Sarge frozen by my side. God forbid, he’d seen people naked, but Brady? He cleared his throat, face still a nice shade of cherry.

“Look, I was check’n myself out in the mirror. Something bad’s happening to me, Jack.” Brady almost broke down in tears.

“I had to treat a goddamn brat in the E.R. today, and I come home to a naked lawyer in my living room. Don’t talk to me for like, an hour.”

“Jack,” He whispered, blue eyes bulging. “There’s something wrong with me. I think I’m going to die.” I raised an eye brow and sighed, closing the door the rest of the way and setting down the stuff that I’d brought home—-mostly paper work.

“What, Brady?”

Embarrassed, Brady rolled over on my couch, his rear end to the ceiling for inspection. I silently muttered a prayer to a God I knew didn’t exist and wished I had brought home gloves. Silently, reluctantly, I brought my gaze down to inspect.

“Jack, I—-” The front door swung open, but as soon as she saw me staring at Brady’s ass, Julia fell silent, her mouth slightly open. “Oh. Is this...? I can come back...”

“Good evening, beautiful,” Brady called into the couch cushions, his pants still off. Julia looked disgusted, still paused at the threshold.

“Relax, Dr. Thayer,” I muttered sarcastically. “I’m a doctor.” I studied Brady a little more, then shot a glance at Julia. “Brady, put your pants back on. You just have scabies.”

“SCABIES?!" He yelped, flinging an arm over the side of the couch to feel for his pants, unwilling to turn over with Julia still in the room.

“When you went to get dad,” I muttered, noticing his pants were just out of his reach, but too amused to hand them to him. “they must have got to you then.”

“Is it bad?”

“No.”

“Can you hand me my pants?”

“Why? You’ll probably be taking them off again later anyways.”

“Wha?”

“God, nothing.” I let my joke hang in the air, glad to have Julia around. I nudged Brady’s pants over to him with my shoe, and he snatched them, red faced. Julia was by my side, and I slumped into a recliner, leaving her tiny frame to tower over me.

“Jack, I need to talk to you.” She said firmly, like a mother to her toddler. I gave her a dumb look.

“Can it wait?” There was a brief pause before Julia exploded.

“No, it can’t wait. It’s been waiting long enough. You always make me wait. That’s all you do! You avoid your problems, you try to escape them, before you even ATTEMPT to solve them!” She ranted, throwing her hands in the air, her red hair flying with the taught jerks of her head.

“Please don’t josh the man who’s the only one that’s seen me naked in five years.”

“Brady, for godsakes, I’m a doctor too. Quit trying to worm crawl into them, it looks just wrong. Put your pants on like a human.” Julia huffed this, not tearing her eyes away from mine. I glanced at Brady, who looked heart broken.

“Promise you won’t look?”

“Yes, Julia, I’ve told you to wait,” I answered her, tight lipped, ignoring Brady. “But you know what? You never do. You’re the most selfish, impatient woman I’ve met in my life! You RUSH things too goddamn much!” I was now standing, heat from anger creeping through my shirt collar. Sarge was beside me in a second, his nose pressed to my side, his eyes carefully studying Julia, trying to figure out if she was a threat.

“I WAIT! I JUST NEVER WAIT FOR YOU! I’M SICK OF WAITING FOR YOU! GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER, JACK!”

“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!” Spit flew through my teeth, my temper risen to it’s fullest. Hell, if she knew. She had no right to come into my apartment and scream about how I lived. Julia’s face was also red, her eyes angry. We were inches apart from each other, the tension almost unbearable.

“Um,” Brady cut in softly, from the side of us. Julia and I didn’t break our locked glares. “My pants are...on...Hey, listen, I know I’m not a doctor...but...This doesn’t seem like a real, healthy approach to me.”

“Get out of my house,” I grunted again, to Julia. She didn’t blink.

“Get out of my way.”

It was when she said that, that I realized I’d been blocking the door.

The whole.

Damn.

Time.

Which explained why no one couldn’t ever get in.

But it still didn’t explain why Julia, Sarge, and Brady hadn’t ever left in the first place.